Certified by Mr. Clean

OK, he's really tall. And those bleached-white eyebrows? Really weird. But it's a full-time job that pays well, he says.

Skinny Dough Boy?

And what's this? A skinny Dough Boy? Must be part of the industry's reaction to all the obesity lawsuits.

The Mute Baron

It's true, the Red Baron doesn't speak. Not a word. Would spoil the illusion, I guess. Without that paste-on mustache, he looks about 13 years old.